


seo changbin, anomaly

by FrecklesOfTheSeasons



Series: seo changbin, anomaly [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Death, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Sad, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates, Soulmates lee felix and seo changbin, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-08-27 02:46:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16693972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrecklesOfTheSeasons/pseuds/FrecklesOfTheSeasons
Summary: “you're an anomaly, changbin.” his first grade teacher had said. changbin remembers not understanding, not knowing what the word meant. “you're one of a kind.”oreveryone has a timer on each wrist. one tells the date you meet your soulmate. the other tells the date that you die. seo changbin's timers are set for the same day.





	1. Chapter 1

_This story has been edited and will be entered in a writing contest by me later next year. This is a note in case of use of a plaigerism tool._

 

changbin is cursed. he's waited his whole life for this moment, living a solitary and lonely life until now. and as one of two timers goes off on his wrist, he can only feel tears well up in his eyes. you see, today is, inevitably, the day changbin will die. but, coincidentally, by some mistake of the universe, there are other plans made for him. changbin hears his timer go off, and he looks into the eyes of his soulmate.

 

they're brown, like his, and filled with warmth and excitement. the boy in front of him is taller by what seems to be just an inch, ginger hair falling over one of his eyes and making his freckles pop. changbin swallows heavily. he doesn't stop staring. the boy starts talking and changbin glances at his lips. everything about this boy is special. changbin's heart breaks.

 

“-your name?” the boy is asking, and changbin takes another moment to bask in his presence, before he raises a finger to the boy's lips.

 

“don't talk.” he croaks. the boy looks at him questioningly. “don't talk. just, just turn around, and go home.”

 

the boy's eyes fill with hurt, and changbin forces him to continue.

 

“don't look back.” he only has so long. “it's better this way.”

 

the boy gnaws on his lip and regret shoots through changbin's veins like it's his own lifeforce. he's had a lot of regrets in his life, but he always knew this would be his greatest.

 

“can-” the boy starts, voice wobbly. “can i at least tell you my name? i get that you don't believe in soulmates, but we could still be friends, right?”

 

changbin is so close to breaking down. his lip trembles.

 

“what's your name?” he asks, and he regrets it so much. he should have just turned and walked away. pretended it wasn't him.

 

“felix.” the boy says, forcing a smile. changbin wants to smooth it away. it doesn't belong there, on his pretty face. changbin wishes he could make this boy smile. “will you tell me yours?”

 

changbin shakes his head.

 

“look, kid, i'm doing what's for the best. you can't get attached to me.” he forces himself to turn away, and begins briskly walking back to his car.

 

“wait!” the boy calls out, in his deep voice. he grabs changbin by his left wrist. “at least let me get your numb-”

 

time slows down. changbin turns to cover his wrist, and at the same time, his soulmate's eyes flicker down. it's too late. changbin is too late, and now felix knows. it was what he had been trying to avoid this whole time.

 

“oh god,” his soulmate croaks out. changbin squeezes his eyes shut to prevent any tears from falling. “oh god.”

 

his voice is so broken, and changbin only wants to fix it. but he can't, because he's running out of time and it's too late. it's too late.

 

“you-” felix chokes on his words. “today?”

 

changbin can only nod.

 

“and you-” changbin watches a tear marr the boy's pristine face. “you were trying to protect me.”

 

changbin nods again. felix stares at him for a moment before pulling him into a tight embrace.

 

“i-” he's crying now. “i'm so sorry. i'm so, so sorry.”

 

changbin's heard it all his life. his arms come up to hold felix back, tenderly, and for the first time in a few minutes, he speaks.

 

“why are you sorry?” his voice is surprisingly stable. in his last moments, changbin never thought he would be so calm. “you haven't done anything to deserve this.”

 

felix holds him tighter, cries harder. changbin can feel people watching them, watching this tragedy of a young love cut too short, a rarity in this world. he can feel their pity.

 

_“you're an anomaly, changbin.” his first grade teacher had said. changbin remembers not understanding, not knowing what the word meant. “you're one of a kind.”_

 

“what about you?” felix sobs. “you're the one who's going to-” he cuts himself off, as if he's unable to formulate the right words.

 

changbin smooths his hand over felix's back.

 

“i'm sorry.” he says. “i wish i could have grown to love you.”

 

felix won't stop crying. changbin hates to see him cry.

 

“you should go.” changbin whispers. he can feel himself getting weaker by the minute. felix shakes his head and clutches onto his shirt. somewhere in the sky, thunder rumbles.

 

“i can't.” felix whispers back. “i can't leave you alone.”

 

somewhere deep in his mind, changbin finds it in him to be grateful.

 

“you don't want to see this.” he tries again. felix shakes his head once more.

 

“i won't leave you alone.” he says, more firmly. changbin feels like he could cry. instead, he huffs a soft breath and sags in felix's arms. the first drop of rain falls.

 

“you'll stay with me, then?” a nod. he feels the softness of felix's bright hair against his cheek.

 

“will you-” he tries to find the right words. the clock is ticking down, and he knows it. “will you hold me?”

 

it begins to pour.

 

“look, mom.” a boy watching says. “the sky is crying.” she hushes him.

 

felix nods again. changbin sighs in relief. his legs wobble.

 

he always wondered what it would feel like, to die. now is his chance to find out, he supposes. felix sniffles against his neck and doesn't let go.

 

“you still haven't told me your name.” he laughs wetly. changbin sighs again.

 

“don't you think it would be easier if you didn't know?” changbin asks sadly. “you could forget me easier that way.”

 

felix makes a choked noise and sniffles some more.

 

“no, i-” he tries. “i want to remember you.”

 

where did changbin ever go wrong, to end up like this, with a boy so sweet as his soulmate? what did he do to anger the gods so greatly, that they would inflict upon him such suffering? changbin doesn't know. so instead, he sighs. so instead, he says,

 

“changbin.”

 

he can feel felix's jaw working as he mouths the name over and over, as if trying to etch it into his brain.

 

“when will i know?” felix asks tearfully.

 

changbin wishes he could stop those tears.

 

“you'll know.” it's hardly an answer, but it's the only one changbin's got.

 

they're still standing there, moments later, when changbin loses feeling in his fingertips.

 

“felix,” he says. “i want- i want to see your face again. before i go.”

 

felix grips him tightly as if he doesn't want to let go, before he pulls back. his cheeks and nose are red, eyelashes wet even as tears still slip from his eyes. such beautiful eyes. felix's hand comes up to changbin's cheek, and it's then that he realizes he's crying. he blinks a few times, unable to stop the oncome of sudden tears. felix is still crying, too.

 

“don't cry.” changbin says. to felix, or himself? he doesn't know. he doesn't know anything. “don't cry.”

 

yet it's felix wiping away his tears, because changbin suddenly finds that he can't move his hands. they drop to his sides and felix stiffens.

 

“not yet,” he begs. “please, not yet.” who is he praying to? the gods won't listen. changbin's been praying to them all his life.

 

“felix,” changbin starts. “in a while, i won't be able to feel my legs. let's sit down.”

 

so felix steps back and picks him up, bridal style. changbin thought he'd never be held like that. it's a bittersweet moment. then felix sits down, holding changbin in his arms on the wet pavement.

 

their hair is wet, their faces are wet, the sky is wet. it's a wet day, and it's changbin's last.

 

“how long?” felix chokes out, after a while. changbin sluggishly lifts his head to check his wrist.

 

“ten minutes.” he sighs. it's not long enough, he knows. felix lets out a little cry and squeezes changbin to his chest.

 

“there are so many things i wanted to know about you,” he sniffles. “what's your favorite color, what is your family like, what are your favorite flowers? i wanted to know.”

 

changbin is silent for a moment. he feels sleepy, in a haze. his lower body is starting to go numb.

 

“i like orange,” it's ironic, really, that his soulmate's hair would match his favorite color. “my family is big. kind. the kindest. god, wish i could've said goodbye.”

 

he sighs, and felix strokes his hair. tears fall from his eyes onto changbin's face.

 

“i'll tell them.” he sniffles. “what's your family name?”

 

changbin smiles softly.

 

“seo.”

 

felix mouths it, like he did with his first name. a few moments of quiet pass.

 

“i like lilies.” changbin says quietly. felix stares into his eyes, a shaky smile on his lips.

 

“your eyes are so beautiful.” he whispers. changbin smiles back. “you're an anomaly, seo changbin.” a shaky breath. then,

 

“my anomaly.”

 

changbin shudders and a low noise makes its way past his lips.

 

“felix,” he says. “i've never been kissed before. will you.. will you kiss me?” he's past the point of regret now. he just wants to feel felix. he just wants.

 

felix nods, and leans down. the angle is awkward, and tears get in the way, but their lips touch, and changbin feels in that moment, that everything is right with the world. they pull apart, and a gasp makes its way up changbin's throat.

 

he can't see anything. he's got the most beautiful soulmate in the world, and now he can't see his face.

 

“what's wrong?” felix asks, frantically. “changbinnie? what's wrong? we still have time left, don't we? don't we?”

 

changbin doesn't know. he can't lift his head, least of all see the numbers on his wrist. he lets out a pained chuckle.

 

“i wanted to love you.” he whispers. “my whole life, i just wanted to love you. i'm sorry i couldn't give you that.”

 

felix's body shakes with the force of his sobs. changbin knows that somewhere on the sidewalk, some sick fucks have their phones out, recording the whole thing. he closes his eyes. he can't see with them open anyways.

 

“no, no, no.” felix cries. “open your eyes. look at me, changbinnie, look at me.”

 

changbin sighs and shivers.

 

“can't see.” he mumbles. felix holds him tighter.

 

“god,” he says shakily, then raises his voice. “god, why? _why?_ ” he's shouting at the sky, the rain, the crowd.

 

changbin wishes he could give him an answer. instead a buzzing starts up in his ears and his head lolls against felix's arm.

 

“i-” he tries. “i-”

 

felix sobs and rocks changbin gently in his arms.

 

“it's okay.” he cries. “it's okay.” it's not.

 

“i want you to meet my family.” changbin manages to say. “i want you to meet them, and move on, and find someone new. i want you to be happy.”

 

“i don't want someone new.” felix sniffles. “i want you. i only want you.”

 

changbin laughs, but it's more of a sharp exhale than anything.

 

“i wish you could have me.”

 

then he's fading, he's fading so fast and he can hear felix panicking as his body goes lax in his arms.

 

“please don't go.” felix begs. “don't leave me. don't go.”

 

changbin can't answer. he's too far gone. he breathes in and out for a few seconds. he's there. and then he's gone. changbin's timer rings, but he doesn't hear it.

 

it's one day before thanksgiving. it's 3:23 pm on november twenty-first, 2018, and seo changbin is dead.

 

***

 

the funeral is a quiet affair. the seo family invites the lees and they all gather into a too small church because it's the only one they could afford. a priest says some words that no one really listens to. there's crying, lots of it. a baby wails in the back of the chapel, changbin's grandmother dabs at her eyes with her handkerchief. on her finger is a gold wedding band. had changbin lived longer, it would be his when the time came.

 

felix stands in the first row with changbin's parents, eyes staring blankly at his soulmate's body, in a mahogany casket that seems far too large for such a small body. he clutches a bouquet of orange lilies in his hands. his timer reads that he has seventy more years before he joins changbin. felix doesn't cry. not yet.

 

when it's time to say farewell, he brings the bouquet up to the front of the church, and places it on changbin's chest. changbin's mother leans past him to fix changbin's hands so that he's holding the flowers. felix smiles at her gratefully.

 

he looks back down at changbin's face, at his too pale skin, his closed almond eyes, and something in him snaps. the tears fall loose in one sudden wave. he collapses to the ground and buries his face in his hands. changbin's mother rubs his back. he can hear her crying too.

 

he has seventy more years. seventy years without his soulmate. seventy years without changbin.

 

he wants it to be over.

 

***

 

years later, in a small cemetery, an old man walks down rows of headstones. it's raining. he clutches a bouquet of orange lilies in his hand. the raindrops form beads and slip off of the petals. the man doesn't carry an umbrella.

 

he settles down in front of a small grave. it's faded and moss has grown over the side. there are bunches of dead flowers surrounding it, and a picture frame leaned against the stone, worn from all the years.

 

“ah,” the old man sighs. his voice is hoarse, but still as deep as it was all those years ago. “it's been awhile since i last saw you, hasn't it?”

 

the sky weeps. the trees wave in the wind. they're mourning a loss decades after it has taken place.

 

“i didn't forget you, i promise.” then a quiet, “could never forget you.”

 

he sits there for a long time, staring at the writing on the grave. _seo changbin,_ it reads, _1999-2018_. the letters are green in some places where moss has had to been scraped away. it's been treated with care over the years.

 

“i know i said this the last time i came,” the man begins tiredly. “but i never moved on.”

 

the wind wails in the tree branches.

 

“you told me to, but i just couldn't do it” he says, chuckling. “nobody could have made me happier than you.”

 

the trees creak and and the rain lashes against his skin. it's another wet day.

 

“i don't regret it.” he exhales. “it was my choice, so don't you go feeling guilty.”

 

there's no answer, other than the storm around him.

 

“i came here today because it's our anniversary.” the man murmurs. somehow, it's louder than all the wind and the thunder. “i know you couldn't forget, but it's been seventy years since we met.”

 

the wind sighs.

 

“i'm 88 years old.” the man sighs, too. “i've lived a long life. it's been fulfilling in some ways, dreadful in some others. i won't waste time in wishful thinking.”

 

it quiets. the man, with his white hair and laughter lines, the ones that never left, is in the eye of the storm. everything is calm.

 

“i came here all those years ago to say goodbye.” he says. “but today i'm here to say hello.”

 

the trees groan in protest.

 

“i know you didn't want this day to come, but it's time.” a quiet exhale. “i've come to join you, changbin.”

 

the storm breaks loose. the wind roars. branches collapse on the graves around him, but the man doesn't flinch. he's purely at ease.

 

“oh, you drama queen. it had to happen sometime didn't it?”

 

the clouds are roiling in the sky and lightning flashes against the dark gray of the storm. the checks his wrist and sighs. he turns so that he's leaning against the headstone, holding the flowers against his chest.

 

“you were never able to ask what my favorite flowers were,” he says sleepily. “but they were the same as yours. lilies. fitting, don't you think? you held them for me all those years ago. i'll hold them for you now.”

 

his eyes close. the sky is wild, but he is at peace.

 

“hello, changbin.”

 

it's november twenty-first, 3:23 PM, 2088.

 

if a timer goes off in a cemetery where no one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound?


	2. a/n

they hadn't known each other for very long. thirty minutes, at most. so why did felix miss him so badly? why did it feel like his heart had been shattered and stepped on, left in the dust? they hadn't had time to fall in love. felix spends his days wishing that they had. then, maybe, he could explain why all he felt in his chest was emptiness. and maybe it was because they were soulmates. and maybe it was because they were meant to be. but whatever the case, seo changbin was long gone. and felix still had seventy years to go. seventy years alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> of orange lilies (and white, white bones)


End file.
